Chapter 14
When I wake up, the faint scent of antiseptic lingered in the air
Thad been transferved to a hospital back home.
The doctor told me I had spent two full weeks in the ICH
My internal organs were severely injured, and 1 had taken a bullet to the shoulder.
But by some stroke of back
my spleen wasn’t ruptured, and the bullet hadn’t cause an exit woul
The blood loss wasn’t severe, and that’s how I managed to survive until the peacekeepers rescued me.
1 new clearly in my heart–it was because Joseph shielded me twice.
He saved my life.
Treached out to everyone I could, trying to find any trace of him
But they all said the chaos at the time made it impossible to recover Joseph’s body.
With casualties mounting. Doctors Without Borders had suspended its projects in North Kia
Had no chance to go back and look for him.
Just like that, Joseph vanished.
Every night, I woke up screaming, gripped by terror.
His dying moments replayed endlessly in my mind, refusing to fade
The doctor diagnosed me with PTSD,
I began taking medication, attending therapy sessions, even resorting to alcoh
But nothing worked
Everyone urged me to try starting anew, to stop dwelling on the past.
But how could I?
He died for me.
This thought became an unshakable shadow, always hanging over me
It made me hate myself for still being alive, hate that it wasn’t me who died,
and hate this world for not granting him a happy ending.
Countless times, I stood on the edge of a rooftop, wanting to follow him
But every time, at the very last moment, I would pull myself back
This life was one Joseph gave everything to save
I no longer had the right to abandon it…
Six months later, I returned to work after my leave.
But could no longer face cameras or photographs
Tended up requesting a transfer to a behind the sernes rule.
Time passed, day by day, yet I remained a venïking corpse, lifeless and hollow,
My colleagues couldn’t stand it anymore and aged me to meet new peale,
even dragging me to a blind date.
I had no interest and only wanted to save a few polite words and leave.
But then I met Jackson
The moment I saw that face-
a face identical in Joseph’s–1 frore,
It took every ounce of strength 1 had not to break down in tears tight there.
Later, I found out he was the brother Joseph had our mentioned.
At first, treating him as a stand in did bring me some comfort.
Those mandane, ordinary days were so wonderfully tempting
When he worked late, I would cook dinner and wait for him to come home.
On our days off, we’d curl up on the couch and watch movies together.
on the nights when nightmares woke me in terror,
just seeing him lying quietly beside me would let me drift back into skep.
These were the everyday moments Joseph and 1 could never have.
I lost myself in them, almost believing the lie I had created.
If I could spend the rest of my life this way, peacefully and quietly, wouldn’t that be nice?
But dreams always end
They were never the same person.
Joseph had promised to come home with me and visit my mom. How could have given her camera to someone else?
He had risked his life to protect me. How could he stand by while others hummated me?
He said he found his purpose in me.
How could be ever see me as a weak, unworldly woman bound by family coretraints?
I regretted it
dy had not even been laid to rest, and I was already escaping reality,
His body
livaga self deceiving life with his shadow.
How could I do this to him?
So had to leave, even if I wasn’t ready to face the truth.
But I had to find him
Tshould have gone long ago.
I need to go back there myself and bring him home
Nine Chances to Break a Heart: T Love That Never Been Chosen
Chapter 15
